Build Confidence Through Adventure with Belinda Coker

Welcome And Why Adventure Matters

Carol Clegg 0:00

Are you ready to step into exploring real-world adventure and how that can help you rebuild your confidence? Welcome to Connect, Inspire, Create, a podcast where we explore meaningful conversations about life, work, creativity, and the ways we can learn and grow. I invite you just to slow down just enough, listen to our conversations to notice what inspires and how those insights can help shape what we create in our lives. Let's explore living with intention and self-trust, alternative ways of thinking and being, creativity, purpose, and personal growth, navigating transitions at different life stages. Those are just a few of the areas that I love to cover in this show. So I am Carol Clegg, your host, an accountability and mental fitness coach, and I invite my guests from around the world with a wide range of backgrounds to share their insights on how they live, think, and navigate the wonderful challenges of just being a human being.

Meet Belinda And Rethink Aging

Carol Clegg 1:07

So joining me today is my guest, Belinda Koker. So welcome, Belinda.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Thank you, Carol. It's lovely to be here.

Carol Clegg 1:15

So glad that we managed to get our times and our time zones, because Belinda is literally joining me from across the globe, but we managed to sort that out. Pleased that you're here. So let me tell you a little bit about my guest. So Belinda Koker is an Australian hiker, writer, and educator who helps women in midlife rebuild confidence through practical adventure and responsible travel. Through solar hikes across Australia's Red Centre and even crossing Greenland's Arctic Circle alone, she discovered that confidence isn't something we wait to feel. It's something we build through action. Belinda is the founder of Soul Treader and the House Sitting Collective, where she teaches women how to create more freedom, trust themselves again, and move through life with greater resilience and stability. So, Belinda, that might be the official introduction, but I'd love to start with something just a little more personal.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Right.

Carol Clegg 2:14

When people meet you for the first time, what is one thing that they are often surprised to learn about?

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Okay, so this has only just happened in the last few years, but it's actually my age. And it's not because I look young, it's because it's because I act young. I I think I just I have this sort of persona that I can relate to to younger people. And uh in in our multi-day hikes, quite often we'll be sitting at a guest house, you know, around a table like the Lycian Way in Turkey, you know, and there's a lot of sort of young people and they're all in their 30s, they're actually the same age as my children. And I can remember there's a couple, they were Germans, a couple of uh a German couple, and you know, we were sitting there, you know, after dinner, you know, finishing, finishing off and all that sort of thing. And and and they said, Oh, do you have any children? You know, to my partner and I. And I said, Yes, we've got six between us. And they, you know, see their eyes wide open. Well, how old are they? And I said, Well, you know, the the oldest one, the oldest one's 31 and the youngest is 23. And the look on their faces, they were like, Oh my gosh, we're 30, you know. And it it really is, I mean, I have wrinkles, I don't use Botox, I have, you know, I I I I look in the mirror and I see an aged face. I really do see an aged face. And you know, anybody can, you know, agree when they look at me, yes, uh, yeah, oh yes, you you do actually look 60. But when we actually I I found that when I've when I've actually said my age to people, they say, really? You don't seem it. It's not that you don't look it, you don't seem it. And this is really only something which has come about in the last few years, especially since I stopped working and started to do multi-day hikes all over the world. And, you know, basically, you know, basically start living, living my golden years like I want to, you know.

Carol Clegg 4:22

I love that. Oh, I love that. I'm be right there behind you. And multi-generational is so important, you know, crossing the the wires. In fact, my episode that came out today is all about that, about multi-generational and just yeah, having fun and and growing old gracefully. So let's talk about SoulTreader because I think that's where you've, you know, so much of your philosophy that you've been sharing about confidence and freedom and self-trust comes from.

Burnout To SoulTreader Beginnings

Carol Clegg 4:52

So tell us what inspired you to create SoulTreader.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Well, the the that the blog came after I started hiking and I started hiking. And there's a story about when I started hiking. And would you like me to tell you about that story as well and then come back or I know you've done some incredible solar hikes.

Carol Clegg 5:13

Like, yeah, whichever way you want to approach it, just yeah, unpack it for us.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

So in the in in the year 2000, I was burnt out, stressed out, and uh a bit of a mess. And I I I'd been a you know, I'd been a solo mother for you know a long time. I'd really wanted to really look after my children without sort of bringing in another sort of partner. And I remember looking in the mirror one day and thinking, I really don't like myself anymore. I don't like what I've become, I've lost my adventure. And so when I started hiking, at that point, I actually went on a hike and started hiking. And it was uh probably on my second or third multi-day hike, I thought, I I want other women to be able to experience this. You know, I don't I want other women to be able to see a way out that you know, the the same way that I saw a way out when I looked in the mirror. And I I honestly, I was I was suffering from depression, I was overweight, I was drinking way too much, I was, you know, overweight and unfit, and and uh and I kind of almost felt like there was there was no hope. You know, not that there was no hope. I mean, you know, I had a lovely roof over my head, I had three children, but the children were they, you know, at one one of them was at their f her final year of high school, and you know, and the rest were early stages of university, and hanging out with mum at home just, you know, really wasn't, you know, wasn't on the on their agenda. And, you know, and I and I think I I sort of had that sort of feeling, okay, that empty nester feeling. Well, the kids are still staying with me, but it's like they're not staying with me. Uh, you know, I'm still cooking for them, but I'm when, you know, it's they're living their own lives. And sometimes that can be quite scary, especially for women. And uh and I kind of I didn't I wanted something for other women to be able to read and to inspire other women who ever got in that position.

Carol Clegg 7:25

Right. Yeah, and so I but where do the solo hikes you because you're talking about the multi-hikes, did you start with the solo hikes?

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yes, I did. Yes, I did. So I act and I I probably did a year of just normal day hikes and lots of day hikes, and then and then I can remember my first solo multi-day hike, and it was pretty scary. It was, but it was so much fun, and I learned so much, and it was quite funny. And we were talking about how you know others perceive me. I can remember there were uh you know, I was surrounded by young people there, but I literally was that older woman over there for on that hike, and now I just feel that everything is has just completely changed, and and you know, quite often I'll be speaking.

Carol Clegg 8:15

Right, that age isn't a determinant.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Yeah, no, no. I remember back then I really did feel like you know, that older woman over there. So it's it's funny, you

Action Before Confidence On The Trail

SPEAKER_01 8:29

know.

Carol Clegg 8:29

But yeah, but Felinda, I know you talk about, you know, we talk about confidence through action, and I I like this that for people to stop for a moment and just think about that because often we go, we need to work on our confidence. But you say confidence grows through doing, and that you know many people wait until they feel ready and when is ready. So what helped you realize that action actually comes before confidence?

SPEAKER_01 8:57

I I thought I I was I just wanted a way out of how I was feeling, and I just I I kind of really felt like I would do anything to to to to not feel how I had been. And uh I can remember that very first hike that I did after that day. I looked in the mirror and I came back and I was invigorated. The very first hike I did was in a I hadn't worn hiking boots for about 35 years. So I'd done a lot of hiking when I was back in back in high school, back in New Zealand, and this is living in Australia, and the first hike was a 17 kilometer, you know, 12-mile hike in in this beautiful rainforest. And I remember coming home and just feeling so relaxed. I just, you know, my whole, I just and not only relaxed, but I felt alive, alive and relaxed at the same time, if that's possible. And I think it was just sort of chasing that feeling, you know, you know, chasing that that natural buzz, if you know, there's such a thing, you know, and you know, instead of reaching for the glass of wine or you know, you know, going out and you know, you you know, spending money to sort of, you know, to get the high, to get the satisfaction.

Carol Clegg 10:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

It was something just totally different. And you know, now I am literally hiking all over the world. And, you know, my natural high now is sitting in, you know, on a doing a lovely sort of Spanish, you know, hike and sitting down at a gorgeous cafe in a village for breakfast. I mean, that is my high now.

Carol Clegg 10:36

And right, and a and a whole new community, and yeah, and it's just interesting because just briefly, I mean, this is not even in comparison because you'd you're doing incredible hiking trails, but you know, the thing is when one does look in the mirror and you're not happy or you're waking up and you're not feeling happy, one of the easiest things is to move. You know, that means just taking, getting out of bed and not lying there with those thoughts rolling around in your head and just move your feet. So even if that just means stepping outside and going for a walk on your own hike in your own forest, yeah, but getting yourself. So I know that you've we're talking now about emotional and mental resets, and you've shared how much hiking changed your life, you know. So, what is it that when you're walking for these multi-days that this creates such a deep reset mentally and emotionally? What happens do you feel to the mind when you actually slow down enough and you're walking? What do you what do you can you explain the experience?

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Okay, so for me, I my thoughts are very positive when I'm when I'm walking. And I really get my thinking cap going and I, you know, dream up all sorts of great things and and I'm starting a podcast with you know with somebody that was actually, I was actually a guest on their podcast. And uh, you know, we just did this big hike in in Greece. And you know, by the time I actually got off the off the hike, I had the whole business plan sorted and everything. And I I literally, you know, I got off the hike and emailed this person and said, um, I, you know, can we can I have five minutes of your time and just you know presented him. But I I find that w when I'm at home and you know, or you know, before, when you are at home and everything is familiar and you know, you're doing the same old, the same old day after day after day, sometimes those negative thoughts can creep in. But I do find that when I am out on the trail and I've got that, you know, endorphing hit of all n of nature, which which really is an endorphing hit, it it you know, it really does sort of relax me enough to sort of start thinking positively. Uh, you know, I'm you know, when I first started, I, you know, there were some things that I wasn't sort of happy about in my life, and I can remember sort of going over them, you know, and and and and and then and then I started to sort of swap those out for sort of positive things, and it and it was so much easier than when you are in a home, especially if you're sort of, you know, especially if you're doing something that is wearing you down, you know, and you're not feeling good about yourself, you know, you might have financial difficulties, you might have a sick relative, you might have, you know, a wayward child, like all sorts of life can throw us so many curveballs. And when we've got those curveballs keep coming at us, right to think negatively, but right when you can actually escape from everything and walk in nature, which is so healing, you know, my thoughts are so positive, you know. Yeah, and I hope everybody else's are as well.

Carol Clegg 13:54

Right, yeah, and it's also it's giving you an opportunity to gain a broader perspective, and as you say, yeah, reconnecting to yourself and then and just grounding, which is so important because I mean, we know that our nervous system needs regulation, it needs calming, you know, and and moving your body is such a beautiful way to be in touch with how you're feeling. And it's important, you know, we do want to feel our feelings, we do want to feel our emotions and recognize them, but then we want to process through them and go, well, what's behind creating that and and look for solutions. So I love you know that you're sharing, you're walking on your hike and creating the business plan as you're going.

Solo Adventure Fears And The Truth

Carol Clegg 14:36

But um, what would you say that's something that people assume about going on solo adventures that is not true? That they kind of have a fixed, uh, I'm not doing this because this is what I think.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Well, one thing could be a danger, you know, because you know, a lot of people could feel too could feel fair because it's it's dangerous, you know, and they there could be all sorts of danger. It could be wild wildlife, and and there there are certainly things that you have to be aware of, and you know, like weather and hydration and all sorts of things. But uh, I think a lot of it is fear, like what if somebody attacks me? Or, you know, what if a bear attacks me? If you're in America, a bear, a cougar, Australia, a snake, a spider, you know, you you you name it, there's something except for here in the Great Britain, there's nothing that can harm you, except for bad weather. But I think that, and I think it's also a lot of people with somebody, well, hang on, I'm gonna be all by myself. Like, and for a lot of people that can be a scary thing, being all by yourself. And so I I really do think it's a fair thing, but sometimes I think the excuse is I'm scared of bears, I'm scared of cougars, I'm scared of you know what have you. The reality is that some people will then I have to sort of be by myself and I have to start to like my own company. And you know, and that it does take a while to get used to. And right I love my own company now, but you know, it took

Midlife As A Fresh Beginning

SPEAKER_01 16:14

me a while.

Carol Clegg 16:14

It's a challenge, no, it absolutely is. I mean, we were talking earlier, you were talking about empty nests, and uh so many women reach midlife and they suddenly realize, oh my goodness, life is shifting. Do I like this? My children are growing up, maybe it's a career change or a relationship change, identity. So, what helped you turn that change into a fresh beginning instead of going, oh, this is an ending? I mean, you spoke about feeling young and fitting, you just all those different things. What made you say, let's make this a beginning?

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Well, I think I think when I first uh I think it came after the the Greenland hike, and I really thought, right, okay, I I want to do this full-time now. I really want to one, I want to do it full-time. And and I just really want, I I kind of thought, right, I'm going to be 60 the following year, and I kind of feel that I've got about probably about 20 years of good movement left. I mean, my mother, bless her, is 84 and she still walks an hour a day. But you know, anything could happen, you know, anything could happen. You could break a hip, you could do all sorts of things, you know. And and so I suddenly thought, right, okay, I have a quarter of my life left and I have to make the most of it. And I have to look after this body that I've been given because it's not going to, it's no young, no longer young. And I think that whole mindset, I only have this much time, not uh so many people they sort of, you know, they get to 60 and they say, Well, I'm old now. Um, and I don't I don't feel I am. But the the other thing is, is I uh is on a hike to on a hike, uh is actually on the on the bus to Hadrian's Wall. I actually met my my my partner. So yes, on the bus. So like you know, you can still find love on a bus or on the supermarket alley or you know, her aisle or anything like that. It does still happen.

Carol Clegg 18:18

It's so lovely that you share that. I have a very dear friend of mine, and she she met her partner on a flight on the narrow plan, and it's like, you never know. Yeah, but I mean it's also the beauty is the common interest of something that you know that brings people together.

House Sitting For Freedom And Security

Carol Clegg 18:33

So I'd love to touch briefly on the house sitting collective because you know I I house sitting can certainly become this bridge between freedom and security. And especially I think in midlife when people they want a little bit of flexibility with their life, but they don't want to give up what they know. So, what makes this such a practical and meaningful lifestyle? And what surprises people when they start house sitting?

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Okay, well, the great thing about house sitting is that you it's great for slow travel, but it's also great if you're trying to sort of save money and not, you know, because accommodation for a lot of people when they go on holiday is the biggest expense. And sometimes it can, it can literally, you know, it can max your credit card out, and you know, and you, you know, and for a lot of people, travel isn't even affordable. But the other thing is, is when you do go on holidays, usually you're spending money at restaurants. And when you're house sitting, you are going into somebody's home and you are staying, you're staying in a home. You're not like I'm in a hotel now because I'm I'm leaving for the trail first thing in the morning, but it is literally four walls, and there's a chair in the there's a chair in the corner, there's a small bathroom. But when you're house sitting, you you have a lounge room, you have a bedroom, you have a kitchen, you have, you know, you have a kitchen which with way more sort of implements than you what you would find in a in an Airbnb. And it's just such a lovely way to travel. So it's free accommodation. You you don't have any restaurant, restaurant expenses. And even if you are something like, you know, maybe you're you you're you have a special diet like your celiac or you're you know you're vegan or something, when you're trying to look for restaurants which are celiac or vegan, they're not only are they difficult to find in some areas, but they're incredibly expensive. And I I can never understand this with vegan food. I mean, you know, there's fresh fruit and vegetables, it should be in the cheaper, you know, thanks. But and so, and so for a lot of people, this is a fantastic way to be able to travel and have some independence. And the other thing is a security as well. You know, a lot of people, if they're trying to stay somewhere, might have to stay in a much cheaper hotel. And hotels are not cheap anymore. I mean, they're you know, gone are there, even a like a $100 hotel, can now be in the dodgy end of town. So you you can stay in a in a lovely neighborhood and be able to sort of you know still explore the area around you. So from a safety perspective, it's really good. It's perfect for retirees, it's perfect for solo women. And a lot of people when they're when they're saying, right, okay, I I want to travel for maybe three months, right?

Carol Clegg 21:24

It's the longer period. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

You think about what three months travel would cost you if you decided to do every single night in a hotel and you were going, you were and also if you do that, you're going from say, say you're going around the world, you're going from Paris to Berlin to Milan to and you're going to all the all the cities because that's what's expected of you, is to go to all these cities, just see the museums and da da da da, whatever you whatever you're doing. And you know, it and you really are missing out on the cultural uh aspect of so much of a country. You know, I've stayed in somehow sits all over the world where I would never ever have dreamt of going to that particular place, you know, the Black Forest in in Germany. Germany, right. You know, you know, or Nurha Nurha in Spain, you know, Barcelona. You know, I'm staying in all these lovely places that I I get to eat, eat where locals eat. I shop where locals shop. And everything is just not only so much more affordable, but it's you really are it really is a cultural immersion, immersion. And so, you know, that's just fantastic. And that's that's one of the reasons why I love it.

Carol Clegg 22:38

Yeah, I have to smile as we talk about this because I'm actually beginning to explore house sitting myself this year. And I'm using it as a as something as part of moving through my loss and grief. As I've shared on my podcast, I lost my husband in February. Right. And it's just it's time to create a different rhythm in my life. And there's just something just about changing environments, you know, that's it comes with challenges, but it's also a moment for reconnecting with oneself. So I'm taking myself to various different places this year. So I'm I'm looking forward to as just as you say, exploring a neighborhood. And the people have been so wonderful and so supportive. And this one lady's asking me, Do you want my kayak? And you know we've got a lake nearby and you can go kaycking while you're here. So I'm actually I use a platform called Trusted House Citters. So I will be you, you know, looking after pets, but I in turn have used them. Oh, I've probably had more than 20 people come and live in my home and take care of my animals over the years. So, you know, it's certainly it is, it's it's a lovely way. If you know, if traveling is what you want to do, and I very much love travel, um, it's a huge part of my life. Um so yeah, that's uh I was gonna ask you your the the platform I'm presuming that you've created, is it only for your your part of the world being in Australia or is it international?

SPEAKER_01 23:58

So it's it's not it's not to we we actually promote trusted house sitters, it's actually a full course on how to how to house it. And I go through everything looking at it, what it is, why you should do it, how to do your how to do your profile, how to write the applications. I even go into you know using power words, how to do the meet and greet, and it really it's called house sitting fundamentals. And for all of your um listeners, I'll give a 10% discount with uh with a code HS Travel. That's what it is, HS Travel. So I can let you know about that. But that's basically for anyone who's interested in house sitting, this guides you through the whole process, which I think is a lot of people just want to know, well, what is it and what's actually expected of me? And how can I how can I make sure that I get five-star reviews? Because that's the whole thing about five-star reviews. And there's you know, there's a lot out there which is, you know, a lot of people are sort of, you know, not quite sure what they're supposed to do, and you know, and it is a huge trust thing because you I was just gonna say the trust element is because it's both ways, you know, it's the homeowner and then it's the person who's coming.

Carol Clegg 25:14

You want to know that you're coming into a home that is what it says it is.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

It and I know, I know. And you know, and I also go into that about you know, I have a you know, a lesson in Rich Hill that that that there should be no cameras, you know. You know, they also have to look after your privacy as well. Absolutely, yeah.

Carol Clegg 25:33

It's a two-way street. I know one often sort of thinks, you know, oh, you've got to be, it's just them giving up their your their home, but it definitely is a two-way street. Well, but Linda, this has been wonderful.

Gentle First Steps And Helpful Resources

Carol Clegg 25:44

I just wanted as we wrap up, if there's somebody listening to us today who's just feeling that that looked in the mirror and they're feeling a little stuck and uncertain, or they go, I am ready for a new chapter. I'm ready. What's one gentle step you'd invite them to take?

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Look, if they I I really do believe that the outdoors is extremely healing, you know, it's not scary. And I would I would encourage people to just start going for a walk in a green space. And it can be a city park, it can be, you know, you know, uh down a little country road and start sort of really deep breathing, you know, and and getting that oxygen in your lungs and just in start enjoying the view, so just start emptying your mind and see what's around you because sometimes just you know, you start to notice the daffodils, you start to notice the little, you know, the little lambs running around, or whatever it is, wherever you are, there will or the leaves change colour. It's there's beauty wherever you look. And I think it's really important that people just give themselves the ability to see that.

Carol Clegg 26:57

That's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing all the inspiration today. For people that want to connect with you, I've I'll have your website. Is there anywhere else they can find you or just your website?

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Um, just the websites. Um through the websites. If anybody is interested in how hiking, I have a great free resource on my website, which is called Hike It Right. It's 88 pages of hiking health and safety. So and it's a free resource. It's lovely. It's just basically, you know, so to make sure that you sort of dress properly and all that sort of thing. So that's really important if anyone's interested. And yes, and you know, if you are interested in house sitting, honestly, give it a go because it really is, it's so rewarding. It really is rewarding. And where are you heading off to tomorrow? We're doing the coast to Rainwright's Coast to Coast Trail, which goes from the I across the UK, from the Irish Sea to the Atlantic. And it's going to take us 12 to 14 days.

Carol Clegg 27:57

Wow, that is wonderful. Oh, well, I I don't need to tell you enjoy every moment, but I know I know that you will. So that's really exciting. So for our listeners today, you know, connect with Belinda, take a look at her website. I hope this inspires you to put a foot outside. So thanks everybody for listening. And if today's conversation has sparked something for you, or perhaps there's somebody else that you can think of that would enjoy or be motivated by listening to it, I invite you to share that. And if you are a woman coach or a business owner craving some focus, connection, or just a gentle bit of accountability, uh, there are a couple of ways that we can work together. You can join my Mindset to Momentum Accountability Circle. It's a monthly complimentary gathering, or you could explore my 90 day package of 30 minute check in calls for personal support. So you will find all the details at CarolClegg.com, or you can message me wherever you listen to this episode of this podcast. And until the next time, may your choices bring you ease and flow.